Stay the Course

I drift without direction

the waves that propel me toward my destination

are the same waves that throw me hopelessly off course

I try to muscle my rudder around strain against the current face straight into the wind

Pushing and pulling and heaving until my arms or my paddles snap,

whichever comes first

and I won’t care if I’m making any progress

it’s the effort that counts and

if I can just row harder and be stronger and push myself further

then maybe I’ll gain an inch or two.


but probably not.

Can I make a confession?  
I can’t do it on my own

so maybe if you sit in the bow and maybe if I sit in the stern 

then maybe we can fight the incessant flow together.

cuz I’m sick of standing still in these ever rushing yet stagnant waters

your arms and my arms together might actually produce some movement

and we might actually make some progress and go somewhere.

but probably not.

We could push and pull and heave until our arms or our paddles snap,

whichever comes first

but let’s face it 
we’re not going anywhere.

So for now I’ll pull up the paddles.
I'll grip the gunnels real tight, but I’ll keep my eyes open

Even if I smash my hull and my head on the rocks, I don’t want to miss it,

because I’m starting to think that shipwreck is my goal.

the waves that throw me hopelessly off course

are the same waves that propel me toward my destination.