Creatures of Habit

Ephesians 4:22-24
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.


I’m a creature of habit. I enjoy routine. It’s comfortable. It’s stable. It makes the spontaneous events that happen even more fun. I celebrate my Sabbath on Fridays, and there are two things that MUST happen on Friday mornings: isolation and routine. I start my day around 9:30 or so, waking up slowly and on my OWN terms for once. I call my puppy over and he hops into bed and snuggles with me for awhile. When I feel awake enough to climb out of the covers, I go get the coffee started. As it brews, I fire up my computer and bring up Hulu. For the next 2.5 hours, I watch all the NBC Thursday night comedies, drink coffee, and eat fruit. Then, when I’m all finished with my shows, I head to Subway for an oven-roasted chicken foot-long sub. Every. Single. Friday. If it doesn’t happen, it’s almost guaranteed that I will be grumpy and intolerable to be around by the end of the following week.


I have a routine. I enjoy it, and to a certain extent, I NEED it. It’s engrained in me. It’s a part of the rhythm of my life.


Our lives are full of habits. They can be either good or bad, but either way, we usually don’t think about them. Some of these habits can actually enable us to perform very complex, in-depth tasks without thinking extensively about it. Driving, for example, is an incredibly complex activity that, when you first start driving, takes a ton of stressful attention and awareness. However, after we’ve been driving for a few years, it becomes second nature and we go through the processes without REALLY thinking about it.


It is important that we realize that our sinfulness is not just an isolated event here or there, but it is a condition that pervades our lives. It is a habitual thought process that influences our understanding of the world, and the way we understand the world influences how we conduct ourselves as we live in this world.


We can have habits that either please or displease God. The word “habit” is derived from the Latin word habitus. A priest wears a habitus, which is a piece of clothing that represents a commitment to a holy life. In the same way, in Ephesians, we are called to “put off our old self” and to “put on the new self.”


We naturally acquire bad habits. In the next chapter of Ephesians, Paul specifically lists a few of those bad habits. Obscene language. Foolish talk. Dirty jokes. Bitterness. Quarrels. We really don’t even think about that stuff sometimes, do we? Our thinking about God and his demand for holiness has gotten warped and twisted to the point where we aren’t even convicted by the trash that we spew out of our mouths every day. Our hearts are hardened because of our ignorance to the point that we lose all sensitivity and “indulge in every kind of impurity.”


In the same way that Paul directs us in Romans to “no longer conform to the patterns of this world.” But instead to “be transformed by the renewing of our minds,” he tells us in Ephesians to “put off the old self” and “be made new in the attitudes of our minds; and to put on the new self., created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” This is a direct call to action. It requires us to personally TAKE OFF the old. We have to dig out our bad habits at the root. Clean house. We can’t live like we used to. But it doesn’t stop there. There’s another direct call to action: We also have to personally replace what we have gotten rid of and put on the new. Paul goes into depth in Colossians 3 with a list of what “clothes” we are supposed to put on. Compassion. Kindness. Gentleness. Patience. Self-control. Forgiveness. Love.


How are you actively taking off the old? What are you doing to put on the new? This isn’t something that anyone else is going to do for you. It starts internally, with the renewing of your mind, and once you have been mentally renewed, that can only affect your outward actions. Don’t sit around waiting to change. Change your clothes.

In Many Cases, Confinement and Constraint is Actually a Means to Liberation.

Guilt, Grace, Gratitude.  Growing up in the Reformed denomination, I have heard this succession of ideas for many, many years.  I agreed with the concept of it all.  After all, it’s a pretty logical, natural progression.  The book of Romans pretty much follows the same outline.  We do stupid things, we have a God who loves us anyway, and because of that love, we want to show our appreciation to that God.  That makes sense.  I like that idea.

However, even if I AGREED with the idea and I LIKED the idea and it made SENSE, I don’t think I completely understood the WHOLE equation because I hadn’t fully EXPERIENCED the whole equation (and I probably still don’t understand it completely, but whatever).

I DEFINITELY DEFINITELY DEFINITELY DEFINITELY understood the “guilt” part.  Oh buddy, do I ever understand my guilt.  One does not have to convince me of the fact that I am messed up, screwed up, and overall a straight up sinful person.  My life is so full of huge, dumb, life-altering mistakes that I still get nervous wondering if I am cursed to a lifetime of moronitude.  So, yes. Check the box.  Josh is a SINNER.

You know when you studied Native American culture in history class and you learned about the ladies grinding up corn with a big rock?  Okay, think back to that and picture them crushing and grinding and pulverizing that corn between two rocks.  Okay, that is how I feel that God has been driving His grace into my heart.  Just crushing and grinding that grace right into my heart.  It hasn’t been an easy or particularly pretty process.  There has definitely been some pulverizing.  But in the end, you end up with some awesome cornmeal that you can make delicious cornbread muffins out of and it’s all worth it.  I love cornbread.

This brings us to gratitude.  I truly believe this is not a naturally occurring part of the process.  Guilt is pretty easy.  Grace is a pretty crazy concept, but it’s relatively easy to swallow.  Who wouldn’t want to believe that they are loved no matter how badly they mess up or how big of a failure they are?  But GRATITUDE?  Yeesh.  You mean I am supposed to stop doing the things that I like to do?  I thought you said that this gift of grace is FREE OF CHARGE!

Well here’s the crazy part.  It ISSSS free of charge.  You didn’t earn it.  You can’t earn it.  Don’t even try to think that you’ve earned it or can earn it because you’re going to fail.  Badly.  Often. Miserably.

However, I am beginning to find that when I realize how utterly incapable of earning that gift I am, I begin to DESIRE to be obedient.  I want to change who I am and what I do.  After all, didn’t Jesus do that for me in an even BIGGER way when he came to Earth in the form of man, leaving behind his pretty awesome living situation with God the Father?  Yeah, maybe I can give a little bit of myself out of appreciation.  In 2 Corinthians 5:14-15,  we read that the love of Christ “constrains” us to live for Him.  Once I realize how Jesus changed himself for me and gave himself for me, I’m not so afraid of giving up my freedom, and therefore finding my freedom in Him (thanks to Tim Keller for putting that into better words than I could have).

It’s not a switch that gets flipped and now I behave and never want to do stupid things.  However, it is a pretty RADICAL change, at least that’s what I feel it has been in my own life.  Awesome.  Thank you Jesus.  Thank you for rescuing me from my own stupidity.  Thank you for redeeming me of my depression.  Thank you for giving me a gift so good that I willingly constrain myself to life of obedience and am therefore made free.

From the lips of children and infants, You have ordained praise.

For the past couple months, I have been discussing American Reformed's liturgy on Sunday mornings with our church's 2nd-5th graders.  Every week, during our church worship service, we go through a communal liturgy as a congregation.  There are four parts to this liturgy: Call to Worship, Prayer of Confession, Words of Assurance, and Instructions for Living.  As the children studied each part and why we do them, I had them write their own liturgies.  On May 1, these 2nd-5th graders will be leading the congregation as "liturgists," using the very same liturgies that they have written themselves.  I have been SO blessed by their beautiful words of TRUTH.  I wanted to share them, so that you too could be blessed by these young Christ-followers.  These words and scripture selections are 100% the work of the children.  Here is the first draft of their liturgy:

CALL TO WORSHIP

Psalm 146:1-2

Leader: “Praise the Lord!  Praise the Lord, my soul!  I will praise the Lord all my life.  I will sing praise to God for as long as I live!”

People: You are the only god worthy of worship.  We love you very much.  Come and worship, people of God.  Come and praise the Lord.  For God loves us and made us.  He is our ruler, helper, and healer.  God, you deserve our praise!

CONFESSION

(Silence)

People: We confess that we sin, O God and confess we haven’t listened to you.  We love you with all of our hearts and all our soul.  You do great things for us and we don’t see that.  Please forgive us.  We need you to help us in life.  You are amazing.  We thank you for being our God and dying for us.  Please show mercy to us.

WORDS OF ASSURANCE

Leader: Jesus Calms the Storm – Luke 8:22-25

 One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger.  The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!”

He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples.

In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.”

Jesus assured his disciples that they would be okay during the storm.  He told them he would calm the storm.  This helps us know we can trust in Jesus to forgive our sins.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIVING

Leader: God tells us to take his advice and love him with all our hearts.  Follow the 10 commandments.  Be joyful always, pray at all times, be thankful in all circumstances.  This is what God wants from you in your life in union with Christ Jesus.

Being a Failure... Isn't That Kinda the Point?

Where do you feel like you’re falling short?  Not one of us is ever completely satisfied with ourselves.  Maybe you aren’t doing as well in classes that you’re taking.  Maybe you feel inadequate in your job.  Maybe you don’t do as well in social situations as you’d like.


It’s pretty easy to feel like we suck… probably because we do.  A lot.  Worldly success is hard enough to obtain, and we fall short fairly often at that. But when it comes to spiritual success, on our own, we’re completely hopeless.  Because of our helpless, sinful state, we are completely incapable of even reaching out to God to be saved.  Romans 3 says, “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God” and “…all have fallen short of the Glory of God.”


We fall short ALL THE TIME and it is so easy to get caught up in the legalism of the law.  We kick ourselves and guilt ourselves into the ground because we think we aren’t doing enough or that we haven’t held up our end of the deal with God.


Well, here’s some good news: That’s kind of the point.


In Colossians 2, we read “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.”  The whole point of what Christ did for us by coming in human form, dying on the cross, and raising back to life, was to make us full.  Where we fall short, Christ makes up that distance.  Whether that’s spiritual, social, education, familial, or occupational, we are not defined by our successes and failures, but rather by our fullness in Christ.


Satan is called many things in the scriptures: “Angel of Light,” “God of this Age,” a “Roaring Lion.”  He is known as “The Deceiver” and “The Father of Lies.”  When it comes to our shortcomings, Satan wants to deceive us by luring us away from defining ourselves by our fullness in Christ, and blind us with our own failures and depravity.  But seeing ourselves as failures and worthless is a lie straight from the Father of Lies.


It doesn’t matter if you’re depressed.  It doesn’t matter if you’ve cheated.  It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe in yourself.  Christ makes you full.  Christ’s love never fails. It never gives up.  It never runs out on us.  We will always fall short, but Christ’s resurrection will always make up for our shortcomings and make us full and complete.

Waiting for the Thaw (A Church Newsletter Article)

Just last week, I thought winter would never end.  It seemed as if the sub-zero temperatures had penetrated my bones and frozen me from the inside out.  Nothing seemed more impossible or unlikely than the world ever warming up again. 

It’s easy to give up hope in February.  In fact, I think I do it every year.  The weather, the short days, the lack of color and sunlight… It takes its toll on a person’s morale.  But, obviously, spring returns every year.  The grass turns green, the sunshine pours forth, the snow melts, and my Vitamin D supply is replenished.

The verse on the gorgeous banner at the front of the sanctuary during this epiphany season comes from Psalm 27.  David starts this Psalm off with our beautiful theme verse, “The Lord is my light and my salvation, who shall I fear?”  We all know of David’s troubles he was experiencing while writing this Psalm.  He was constantly being pursued.  He states his hope in the midst of a pretty rough season.

David ended his Psalm with 2 verses that I find very inspiring for this dreary February season.  He declares, “I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”

Our life is lived in seasons: seasons of joy, seasons of sorrow, seasons of closeness to God, and seasons of what seems like great distance from God.  However, just as we can be completely sure that February will end and the seasons will change from winter to spring, we can be sure that the goodness of the Lord will become apparent again. 

The Bible is very clear that there will be dreary times. But over and over, we are told to be strong, take courage and wait for the Lord.  Let this beautiful week of sunshine be a reminder: Spring is near!  New life is coming!  Remember the words from Psalm 16: “In your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

Tonight, during my fifteen-minute car ride home, I relived my high school relationship.  Listening to Dashboard Confessional and driving 75 mph, just like I did every weekend of my HS career, I remembered things I’ve tried not to remember, and dug up memories that had not surfaced for the five-plus years that have transpired since their originations.  As I cycled through feelings of warmth, sadness, regret, nostalgia, and confusion, I found myself wondering why I don’t “remember” these things anymore.  I mean, sure, the memories are there and I CAN remember them when I want to, but honestly, for five years, I mostly have NOT wanted to remember.

I am an emotional guy.  There is no denying it.  I feel things hardcore.  When I am sad, I am more than likely DEVASTATED.  When I am in a good mood, I am probably giddy and weird.  It’s just the way I am.  I live a life of highs and lows, mountains and valleys.  Because of this, I am starting to think that I don’t look back on things and dig up old memories because it’s too much of a roller-coaster ride for me. 

The good times I look back on and LONG for.  I LONG for driving home late at night, singing Dashboard Confessional songs to my high school sweetheart sleeping with her head on my lap.  I long for summer days spent down by the river, swimming for hours and listening to cassette tapes of Savage Garden.  I long to sit talking for an extra hour in the car when I drop her off at night.

But the bad times still hurt.  I don’t want to relive the pain of a relationship slowly burning to the ground.  I don’t want to think about making someone I care about cry.  I don’t want to think about walking away from something that meant so much to me.

So how do I deal with the past?  Most of the time, I just avoid the past.  I live with the overall emotion.  I am affected by the big picture, the broad strokes, but I avoid the details.  I suppress the events that incited the emotions.

Is this what I want, though?  Do I want to live a life that refuses to recognize the events that shaped me?  Do I go on living with only select moments of my past intact?  I don’t believe that’s what I want.  As hard as it is for me to FEEL those things again, I think my life can be richer and more meaningful if I acknowledge the beautiful and painful events that have propelled me to where I am at today.  To purposefully forget would be to lie to myself.

May the memories of the past help me shape a future worth remembering.

As the Deer... Is actually PRETTY bummed out.

I’m sure pretty much anyone who might read this has heard, and likely knows by heart, the song As The Deer.  This song has been popular for decades.  It’s based off of Psalm 42, which, in the TNIV, starts “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.  Overall, it’s a pretty positive song.  It talks about how intensely the singer wants to worship God, how intimate of a relationship they have with God, and how good God is.  It’s a great song.  But have you ever really read the Psalm that the first line is taken out of?

Check it out.  I find it quite interesting and inspiring.

This is a pretty broad generalization, but quite often in churches today, sadness is discouraged.  We are supposed to be happy because we follow and serve a good God.  We are supposed to take delight in the joy of our salvation, which often is taken to mean that we are not supposed to get depressed or discouraged.  Put on your happy face and sing a happy song.  Even this song “based off of” Psalm 42 is a pretty happy song.  But I want to take another look at this portion of scripture.

The first couple lines are fairly familiar.  Lines about thirsting for more of God.  Yep.  Good stuff (but doesn’t thirsting imply that you don’t have enough to satisfy?).  But then we get to verse 3.  This is where the classic song and the Psalm part ways.  The Psalmist writes that “tears have been my food day and night.”  He isn’t really putting on a happy face and singing a happy song.  Apparently, life has been pretty rough lately and he hasn’t been feeling so hunky dory.  This guy is hurting.  Tears have been my food?  Ouch.

He then reminisces in verse 4 about the good times when he would go to the temple and join in on the festivities, shouting and praising God.  Isn’t that all too familiar?  Remembering how God used to be close.  Remembering those times when you were so caught up in the goodness of God that you felt completely satisfied just knowing that you were created by the beautiful God and redeemed by this incredibly loving savior.  Those were good times, but where did they go?  Sometimes I find it pretty hard to figure out how God can seem so incredibly close and intimate sometimes, but then glaringly absent at other times.  Moving on…

Next, the Psalmist does something in verse 5 that I resonate with in huge ways.  He questions his OWN soul… His OWN feelings.  “Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why are you so disturbed within me?”  When I am feeling “downcast and disturbed,” this is my most common response.  I question why I have to feel like this.  I question why I’m so messed up on the inside.  But then I often do the same thing as the Psalmist: I encourage myself to put my hope in God and still praise Him who is my Savior and My God.

However, unlike many Psalms that follow the formula, “I cried out to God and he heard me and delivered me,” this one is different.  After the Psalmists little personal pep talk, he returns to his grief.  He can’t shake it, despite the knowledge that God is good and worthy of praise.

In verse 7 he talks about feeling like he has been swept underneath the waves, and that deep cries out to deep.  I think he’s talking about that deep longing that we experience when we feel ourselves sinking further and further and we long for God’s hand to reach down and pull us out.  Deep cries out to Deep.

Again, he looks on the bright side in Verse 8, but then plunges back into his broken spirit. “Why have you forgotten me?”  Why must I go about mourning?”  “My bones suffer mortal agony…”

He ends the Psalm with his thrice repeated questioning of the condition of his downcast soul, and wraps things up with his weakly hopeful self-motivational speech.

I really FEEL this Psalm.  It’s not neat; It’s SUPER messy.  Grief and mourning are mixed with hope and praise.  In my mind, it is holistic worship.  It engages ALL of the worshipper, not just the neat  and tidy parts where she has it all together, but also the hurting parts and the questioning parts.

As the Deer is a good song, but I think our services need to occasionally reflect and acknowledge the messy truth in Psalm 42.